Links
- O & A Spreadin' the virus
- Dark Horizons...For the nerd in all of you.
- Google News
- Jen and Dave...More boobies are more gooder!(NSFW)
- Banana-Slug
- Fark
Archives
Of course it's a Baby Ruth....Trust me.
Saturday, June 26, 2004
People are stoopid
What is it about going into a store to buy something that turns people stupid? I have been to one or two store in my life and feel pretty comfortable with the whole process. Well maybe not the store itself as I realize that no matter where I go when I leave the house that people are staring at me. It isn’t that I’m paranoid but I know that they are watching me. But as far as the shopping itself I think I am pretty good. I ask whether they have what I want, if they do I ask the cost and then pay what they are asking. Not the morons that come into my store.
The main reason I work here is to get a penthouse letter. It’s a slow job and I generally work alone so this is the perfect scenario. “Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me but…” and you can imagine the rest. Well maybe not but the rest of the fantasy involves three women, a trapeze, two tubes of tollhouse cookie dough and one of those horses you would ride as a kid. You know the stick with the horse head on it. But I digress. Take today for instance. I get to work at nine and open the store at ten. These hours are posted and seem to be pretty self-explanatory. My first duty of the day is to drop the kids off at the pool and then after that I prepare to open. But before I can get to the front of the store I hear banging on the back door. I open it up and there stands a customer. When I ask what he wants he responds by telling me that my front door was locked. I explain very slowly that the reason for this is that I don’t open for another half hour but he says that since he is here he should not have to wait. I didn’t really feel all that bad about closing the door in his face and walking happily to the front. After 20 minutes he shows up around front asking if I am open yet. He is asking this, by the way, from the other side of a locked gate. I felt no real need to answer this. I make him wait until the last possible moment, and then allow him to enter the store. After he informs me that I am rude, he proceeds to as me whether I carry any beanbag chairs. Just to explain, I work in a mattress store…not a beanbag chair in sight. This is the best customer of the day by far.
From what I can tell, the next problem is price tags. I think that I wrote them out right but clearly I mistakenly put “or best offer” somewhere that only the customer can see. And it seems that no matter how you explain it people just don’t get it. I do not deal. Now here is the part where I will give you a little advice. When you go into a store to buy something big that you generally do not know much about, be nice. Do not hassle the salesman, as this will only anger him. We will get even with you, stupid customers. And not only will we get even with you but we will do it in a way that you will thank us for. I say this because you think that you are asking for an extra discount. What I hear, however, is “ Mister sales guy, would you please rub your butt on my mattress before you load it up for me?” All of this is alleged by the way. Don’t what the bosses getting scared. Heeheehee.
Well more on this later, I see another victim coming right at me.
Love Poops
The main reason I work here is to get a penthouse letter. It’s a slow job and I generally work alone so this is the perfect scenario. “Dear Penthouse, I never thought it would happen to me but…” and you can imagine the rest. Well maybe not but the rest of the fantasy involves three women, a trapeze, two tubes of tollhouse cookie dough and one of those horses you would ride as a kid. You know the stick with the horse head on it. But I digress. Take today for instance. I get to work at nine and open the store at ten. These hours are posted and seem to be pretty self-explanatory. My first duty of the day is to drop the kids off at the pool and then after that I prepare to open. But before I can get to the front of the store I hear banging on the back door. I open it up and there stands a customer. When I ask what he wants he responds by telling me that my front door was locked. I explain very slowly that the reason for this is that I don’t open for another half hour but he says that since he is here he should not have to wait. I didn’t really feel all that bad about closing the door in his face and walking happily to the front. After 20 minutes he shows up around front asking if I am open yet. He is asking this, by the way, from the other side of a locked gate. I felt no real need to answer this. I make him wait until the last possible moment, and then allow him to enter the store. After he informs me that I am rude, he proceeds to as me whether I carry any beanbag chairs. Just to explain, I work in a mattress store…not a beanbag chair in sight. This is the best customer of the day by far.
From what I can tell, the next problem is price tags. I think that I wrote them out right but clearly I mistakenly put “or best offer” somewhere that only the customer can see. And it seems that no matter how you explain it people just don’t get it. I do not deal. Now here is the part where I will give you a little advice. When you go into a store to buy something big that you generally do not know much about, be nice. Do not hassle the salesman, as this will only anger him. We will get even with you, stupid customers. And not only will we get even with you but we will do it in a way that you will thank us for. I say this because you think that you are asking for an extra discount. What I hear, however, is “ Mister sales guy, would you please rub your butt on my mattress before you load it up for me?” All of this is alleged by the way. Don’t what the bosses getting scared. Heeheehee.
Well more on this later, I see another victim coming right at me.
Love Poops
Tuesday, June 22, 2004
I think this says it all for today 
